I have a series of songs going through my mind these days and they all seem to ironically describe my comings and goings. They all seem to have a common running theme too. Change. Self-inflicted change.
I never was one to settle with the status quo. A creative mind needs sustenance and once I find myself in an environment that churns out nothing but sameness, I suffocate and yearn to fly free.
I was introduced to the bold statement of 'defying gravity' by the cast of Wicked. I could relate to it straight away. When you choose to do something bold and against the tide, it does call upon you to make bold statements. It calls for you to have the strength to stop yourself from being pulled down - to defy gravity - that magnificent and all natural force. Imagine the amount of energy needed to defy such a great force. In metaphorical terms, that force usually consists of demoralising notions of the negative kind from those who just fail, and don't even try, to understand where you're coming from. But the only way to do what you most believe in is to give in to yourself and set yourself free. It's about embracing that sense of freedom by trusting yourself and defying the weights that pull you down in the form of maintaining the status quo in the minds of those who just don't want change, don't understand it, don't see the potential in it. And by defying the gravity of those conformed thoughts you become unlimited in what you are able to achieve.
It really is about going your own way. Whether you choose to go down the road less travelled or to forge yourself a new path in familiar territory, it is about stepping out of your comfort zone. Perhaps that is what makes life more meaningful for me.
But between trying to defy gravity in my frequent auguries of listlessness and while trying to go my own way, I find myself close up with the realities of life.
I seem to be dancing through life, dodging disappointments and savoring moments of happiness one after the other. But, hey, it is life after all and depending on what your internal belief is about it and how it's structured within your psyche, life can be just that, a fleeting time warp that will come to end before we know it. At the other end of the scale, life might be such a precious and valuable opportunity that should be grasped. And while I see it as a blessing and a means of making something meaningful out of, I also see it as a fleeting time warp. I say this with a touch of irony as I strive everyday to achieve whatever it is that I want to achieve, knowing that ultimately with every ticking second everything passes. What really matters is what you end up giving, touching other people's lives and having the ability to create meaning to others' lives. Sadly, the way I perceive it is not how I seem to be going about it to achieve that meaning. So I continue to dance through life, dodging one test after another, trying hard to get to an optimum level of what it means to be happy, to provide happiness, and to give this thing called life meaning.
My recurring theme seems to be change. So, while I continue to dance through life, I try to defy gravity all at once while going my own way. Tough choices but I wouldn't want it any other way.
