Thursday, August 11, 2011


It has been ages. I return to my cosy blog feeling like a stranger who has been away for too long, waiting for familiarity and with it, comfort, to set in. I look back and my life a few months ago was very different than it is today. Happy or sad is not the issue, it's not the question. Time doesn't allow for any of those sensibilities. Today, it's all about a robotic sense of soldiering on to make it through to the destination. I feel like I'm embarking on a never ending journey, being swept along just to get to the end. No time to breathe. No time to stop. No time to reflect or do any of the things like make me feel like a basic human.

I miss photography and writing and all the other things that I used to enjoy doing. The things that I would find myself through them, that would unleash my creative force. 

But there's no time for even that. It's all about soldiering on and all that I pray for is that when I do reach my destination in the end, that I will be satisfied and happy and content. A shadow of doubt casts itself. I fear that all that I will find in the end is a transformed shadow of a person and nothing but eternal loneliness.

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