Monday, October 25, 2010

On Being Your Own Star

The film festival has just ended. Sad face. I am hoping this does not mean an end to the cultural buzz I found myself in the middle of for over a week. I am so much more inspired now and my creativity has been set free once again. I want to write, paint, drum away on a piano and sing along to the tune inside of me. What was it about the festival then? Was it just the creative outlet in the form of a film? Was it the stars? I think I know why they are called stars. They do shine. Poise, grace, charm and a certain quality that is just put all together to create a certain magnetism. I wonder if one can be trained to have star-like qualities. Perhaps being exposed to a camera so often places them in that light? Is it the fact that they thrive within artistic circles? There is something about art that touches deep within. It could be that. I felt it too.

For me this year, the film festival was all about the films and the talks. Such inspiration, such an eagerness to actually delve into these stories and be a part of the making. Unique.

I try to keep this creative edge now that it has awakened within me. The key, I think is to find the right outlets, mix with the right people and keep at it. Allow myself to create some of my own magic. Be my own star, even if just for my own pleasure.

I re-ignited my joy in writing again. I had writers block for the longest time and I needed a spark to set it off. The film festival did that to me. It was an old familiarity that felt warm and sweet, almost melodramatic. I came across a bunch of short stories I had written from what seems like eons ago. The writing was raw and young and quite embarrassing at times but it had guts. I had guts; young and brimming with a sense of letting it all out. No fear, just like a child who says what he wills without a thought. That was my writing. That is the essence of what I need to return to then hone it, and hone some more, into maturity.

I wonder if by this time next year I can actually have a role to play in the next film festival. Perhaps by then I would have discovered my own star-like qualities. That would be enough for me.

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